I've decided to make my blogs videos. so from now on my updates will be videos.
Lyrics to We Are Broken : I am outside And I've been waiting for the sun With my wide eyes I've seen worlds that don't belong My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize Tell me why we live like this
Keep me safe inside Your arms like towers Tower over me
Yeah Cause we are broken What must we do to restore Our innocence And oh, the promise we adored Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole
Lock the doors Cause I like to capture this voice it came to me tonight So everyone will have a choice And under red lights I'll show myself it wasn't forged We're at war We live like this
Keep me safe inside Your arms like towers Tower over me
Cause we are broken What must we do to restore Our innocence And oh, the promise we adored Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole
Tower over me Tower over me
And I'll take the truth at any cost
Cause we are broken What must we do to restore Our innocence And oh, the promise we adored Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole
.."Love conquers all"? It really does.. even if it's the person who feels it -_-
I have been defeated.
this thing ---> ♥
yeah it's been ripped out, stomped on, mauled by an animal, run over, shoveled up, thrown away, taken to the dump, and put through a fucking garbage compactor, turned into a soda can, crushed and turned into a little kids "kick around" toy.
Yes I mean all of that, it's how it feels.
Clearly I'm the only one who's going to understand that because I'M the one between the 2 of us going through it -_-
Just keeps getting lonlier and lonlier.. I like the fact that I've opened up and not bitched at Anthony for going out. But damnit a phone call would be nice lol. I sit here wondering if he's going to call Let me know if he's too drunk to drive home or if he's going to come home. I try and sleep.. But only end up laying awake next to my phone. Time passes and I keep my eyes closed.. But nothing happens. Its like I should have fallen asleep but my mind won't let me. I tell myself to shut up and I just won't. I've gotten restricted phone calls BOTH times he's been out.. He says he doesn't know who it is And I suppose I believe him because plenty of people have my number so it could be anyone. Calling from a blocked number incase I'm asleep.. I really don't know. It doesn't matter. He was gone for 19hrs yesterday.. I worried until I was sick but somehow eventually managed to get about an hr of sleep. He came home and although he wasn't here for but 10min.. MAYBE 10 min. The hug and the kiss were worth it. Not to mention I got to see him dressed all cute and stuff xD Boy knows how to wear his jeans I'll give him that much lol. Uncle came over here with some movies.. All of which were movies Anthony had seen in theaters.. The thought was a nice one but it was like a double edged sword.. Thankful for the thought.. not so happy at the effect. I don't know, sleeping is so much easier when he's next to me.. Being here is so much easier when he's here with me or hell.. lol even if I knew if he were coming home. I'm glad he's having fun now.. even if it strips me of mine for the time being. He needs his space and his fun. Lately neither of us have gotten it. I knew I needed some time.. Some space as well.. But I didn't want this much haha It's all good I suppose.. Something I have to live with. So I'll go pop open another beer and once again.. Hope I survive another lonely night. Gnight.. for most of us.
Well we have taken our losses, and recognized the good times. We aren't fighting anymore, infact it's more of a comfortable understanding. Monday we are going to the court house and filing for a divorce.. Yes it upsets me but I love him and if this is what he wants this is what he gets. We want eachother happy and have decided to remain friends and never doubt the future. If we get back together sometime in the future the past will be the past. I already feel like this is a fresh start. We're getting along much better, being honest with one another and we're there for each other. He'll always hold a special place in my heart seeing as how he is my first love. No one will ever replace that. I've come to terms with this the best I can, as the days come along and go by, the better I start to feel and begin to understand more and more. He's really a great guy.. I married him for a reason. But at this point, reasons are pointless to hold onto because it's come to its end. And so I will end this blog with one simple quote that I must live by now.
"If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
a couple years ago but we were cute together, could have fun.. :\
